The euphoria of my calling was followed by a huge come down where suddenly all the things I had built my life upon, made no sense anymore. How do you get out of bed and do a job that suddenly seems so irrelevant? Suddenly everything around me felt so trivial and senseless compared to the majesty of the world I had discovered.
Before I knew it I was in the midst of an inner crisis that was challenging everything I knew and transforming me. It’s hard to describe exactly, but it was 6-months of feeling like a crazy person. In traditional societies the tribal shaman would be called to heal the sickness and understanding the crisis, would take the newly born shaman under their care.
In the modern world, you’re on your own. Your soul is awake now and there is a battle on between the forces of creation and destruction raging through you. It works differently for everyone but I fell back into my old party life and all the substance abuse that went with it. This was a time of testing that I believe is the initiation to the first degree of shamanism.
The turning point came when I agreed to try and heal a sick lady I met on a trip. Unwittingly, this was my declaration for the creative forces as only the higher powers can heal the sick.
The Sickness
